Squirty squirt squirt…we heard your heartbeat again this morning.  However, it took a minute for the doctor to find it and during those treacherous 60 seconds your Papa said Dr. Cabrera looked like this:

I looked like this:

and Papa looked like this:

And then there you were, fluttering and galloping like the little horse you are.  I love hearing you, it makes me all warm and giddy inside.  I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  After that we decided to have a real heart to heart with Dr. Cabrera about our intentions for a natural birth.  It was a very revealing conversation.  Apparently, he’s quite conservative and old-fashioned.  It became clear early on that we had very different views on childbirth.  I won’t go into the details but I will illuminate the turning point, it was when I mentioned that we were speaking with a doula.  His ears flattened like the horse that bit Grandma in Mexico and he immediately straightened up and proclaimed that he would not work with a doula, that it was too adversarial of a relationship and he wasn’t interested in doing that.  To his credit, his honesty was refreshing and made the decision to seek another doctor easy for us.  He even went so far as to refer us to a doctor he knew that did work with doulas and lo and behold it was the very same Dr. Wu at Glendale Adventist Hospital that I had been hearing about on the Boobie Brigade (which is this very informative yahoo group of mothers in and around Los Angeles helping each other out.)  He told us he wouldn’t be offended in the slightest if we decided to switch and would do everything he could to make it an easy transition.  We walked out of there knowing for sure that he was without a doubt not the right OBGYN for us.  Funny enough, when I got into the car there was an email from a friend who just gave birth at Glendale Memorial (where Dr. Cabrera is) strongly suggesting we seek another hospital.  That she was convinced we would not have the experience we wanted.  I really think the Universe talks to us if we are just willing to listen.  So Dr. Wu it is!  According to Doula Tracy he didn’t win any awards for his bedside manner in medical school but working with him at Glendale Adventist is much better then what we had.  I had no idea this stuff could get so complicated but I truly feel in my heart that this entire experience is a rites of passage for me, and possibly most women, if they choose to look at it that way, and that finding the right doctor and hospital, fighting for what I believe in intuitively and really trying to experience the entire process of pregnancy and childbirth as natural as possible without the aid of anything synthetic is extremely important for me to go through before I become a Mom.   That birth canal you are going to travel down you don’t travel alone.  I travel it with you. It’s my birth too.  My birth as an empowered, confident, decisive mother.  It’s time to let go of the wishy-washy young woman that has plagued me.  I hate feeling like a candle in the wind, so easily swayed by others opinions and thoughts of me and everything.  This is my time to stand up and fight for what I believe in.  And I believe in this. There is something so profoundly personal, delicate, sacred, and magical about this time and since I know it’s only going to happen for me once, I want to make sure I do everything I can to make it as special as possible.

Here you are right now:

and here am I:

Two little peas in a pod.

Love,

Mom