running to catch up

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It’s been way too long.  I keep saying this.  And I keep wishing it were different.  

I have several blogs that I started that I never finished.  I am considering publishing them all under the Title- The Toddler Years.  I have a mommy friend that blogs every day.  But then her daughter is 3 years old and in preschool.  And the mom doesn’t work.  But still.  I only work part time and have a nanny two days a week.  Yet those days are spent working.  And working takes up a lot of my brain power it seems.  

I really wanted to tell you about how I decided to celebrate my 40th birthday.  I have to be sure I didn’t start that blog way back when…

I want to tell you how much I love watching you try to use your potty for real now.  It is one of the things that brings me so much joy.  I don’t know exactly why.  But you seem so grown up sitting there, naked but for pink crocs, reading a book upside down.  I fall in love with you more and more every day.  I didn’t think a love like this could possibly do that.  But when I look at you I really do see God.  A very funny drunk God tripping on Acid.  You kind of remind me of when I was drunk, some days.  I was a fun drunk, for awhile, that is, then I was not, at all.  But when I was, fun, I was so quirky, impulsive, and strange.  If I wanted to do something, dammit, I did it.  I didn’t think twice about walking across tables or bars.  Throwing phones out of moving cars or windows if you were on them too long.  I would jump and scream for no reason.  Yes, you and I are very alike in some ways. 

I don’t have much time now.  I am at work, and should be working.  But I am thinking of you, as I always do.  Wishing I was holding you right now with your small head tucked between my shoulder and my head.  I love when you do that.  It makes my decade.

I am starting a new business.  I am slightly afraid.  I don’t know anything about this world, but I am willing to learn.  I hope this is the legacy you remember me for.  It truly feels like my life’s work, vocation, calling.  Besides being your Mom, Story Tribe is part of what I was put on this planet to do. 

Okay, gotta run.


We’ll catch up soon.