Ready, set…go!!

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Okay Pony- we are officially ready to meet you and introduce you to this wonderful wild complicated magical world we live in!!  We even have your robe ready.

Papa believes you will be here this weekend. He’s so excited to meet you he can barely stand it.  He thinks that unless I believe you will be here this weekend too- it might not happen so I better get on-board the visionary train.  So here I arrive, bags packed, on the train, ready to rumble whenever you are.
I think it’s going to be fun- this whole birth thing.  Why not?  Why not set aside everything I think I know about labor and delivery for an entirely new experience of all of it?  Your father has continually surprised me with how different everything in life can be with a new attitude, why should this be any different?  We are going to have so much fun, all three of us, working together to bring you here.  I am not crazy though, I know there might be hard times too, but what the hell, I’m gonna go for it.  I’m gonna give my body heart and soul over to the idea that this could be really awesome wonderful and great.  If you believe it, it’s true, or so I have heard, over and over again.  I believe.  I believe.
It’s really a mind game, this life.  The Buddhists say- if you want to change your life, change your mind. Jesus said basically the same exact thing- as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he.  Thoughts are things.  There is irrefutable proof out there, and in here, my head and my life.  I have witnessed the power of thought.  I have read incredible testimonials, not just spiritual ones, but scientific ones as well- where when you get super deep into Quantum Physics it’s actually hard to discern between the two anyways.  It’s certainly where science and ‘God’ meet- on the quantum level.  I will never forget in 1993 when someone handed me “The Holographic Universe” by Michael Talbot.  It changed my life forever.  Him, Brian Greene, and Stephen J. Hawkings, of course.  To mention but a few of the greats.  I like to think that if I could do it all over again I would become a Quantum Physicists instead of an actress.  Or a teacher- or better yet- a teacher of Quantum Physics. Perfect.  
You have the hiccups right now and you’ve been moving like a gymnast the last few days.  Your butt is so cute when you push it out like that turning my tummy into a pyramid.  Papa says he felt your hand and little fingers the other day.  I missed it, you pulled away too fast, but I wish you could of seen the look on his face, he was so proud.  
I don’t know what else there is to do except wait for you now.  The hospital bag is packed, the room is ready, your clothes are all washed and put away, I’ve had enough time to myself…
Okay- I agree.  This weekend is perfect.  I’ll see you soon, baboon.
xx
Mom

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Maternity Leave Rocks!!

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I used to joke way back in the day that my two favorite words in the English language were “open bar.”  Not anymore- now they are “full term.”

Something about hearing those two little words come out of my doctor’s mouth last week about you, my dear Pony, lifted this giant weight I had no idea I had been carrying.  I practically skipped out of the office and into my car.  It was a milestone I wasn’t aware of and having made it, now feel a surge of confidence quite unexpected.  
We are ready Pony!  So ready and excited to meet you.  We can’t wait.  We finally finished your room. It’s so precious and peaceful in there.  Sara, as a gift to you and us, painted it this beautiful light purple we picked out.  Then we added this super sweet decal on one wall.
We surrounded the window with purple fairy lights and at night the room has this amazing light and look to it.  You can’t help but relax when you are in there and soak up the serenity. Hopefully it will have the same effect on you.  
I have to tell you how adorable your Dad is.  He is so excited about your imminent arrival that he packed our hospital bag and is making tons of soup and stuff for us to eat after you are born. A friend of mine asked if my pregnancy was a challenge for our relationship, because we are still so new, and I told her no way, it has been the most bonding loving romantic connected experience I have ever shared with someone in my life and that I felt closer to your Dad than ever before.  I can’t believe it’s possible to keep falling more in love with someone, but apparently it is.
We celebrated his first Father’s Day yesterday, you and I got him a biography of Bukowski (his favorite author) then we made him breakfast and took him to get a foot and head massage in the San Gabriel Valley- a giant China town.  We also gave him two mac magazine subscriptions.  Very Papa like presents.  It was a super wonderful day.  We talked about you a lot. I’ve already signed you up for ballet classes and he’s got you playing soccer.  Don’t worry though- it’s okay if you love one and hate the other or both or neither.  It’s truly up to you.  You lead the charge.  Which reminds me, I’ve had this funny suspicion since way early on that you were going to be some sort of uber humanitarian politician- if that is not a dichotomy in terms.  I don’t know why, neither your Papa or I are in any way political, I’d say we are definitely humanists.  We strongly believe in life, love, and valuing both.  We each have made a profession out of helping people- me, children and him, artists.  And we continually strive to be the best humans we can be. So hopefully some of that will rub off…but the political part, I have no idea where that comes from.  The ether I suppose.  Just please don’t be an actress.  Whatever you do.  Don’t do that to yourself. There is so much more to this wonderful world than Hollywood would ever have you believe. I’ll explain more later when you are older. 
So I am sitting on the couch right now in the afternoon eating grapes, talking on the phone, and writing to you.   I walked through Griffith Park for two hours this morning with my pregger friend Kelley and met a new and fantastic friend Gretchen for tea afterwards.  Awww Pony, this is the life.  If I could have a runner up for the favorite two words it would be ‘maternity leave.”  I had no idea how much I needed this.  I also know how much more I value this because of my job.  Sometimes you have to run to appreciate walking.  
Well Pony dear, we are walking now.  No more running.  And I am enjoying every single step I take with you and your father right by my side.
I love you so much.  We are going to have an amazing birth together.  I just know it.
Mom