All quiet on the western front

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It’s been awhile.  I know.  I have been in hibernation with no inkling of what to say.  I am going through something big, life changing, an alteration of the course as I once knew it and it’s taken me some time to adjust.  One of the biggest things seems to be that now we have decided we are only having you, wonderful glorious you, I am left with this feeling of, “Okay…now what?”  I no longer have the excuse of waiting a few years for my life to resume.  It’s resuming now.  So what am I going to do with it?  The drive to do something big has completely left my body.  It’s not that I am apathetic or ambivalent, I am just no longer driven by this insatiable propulsion to be acknowledged on a grand level.  And it feels really really strange.  There is a stillness and a peacefulness that is foreign to me.  It’s a giant exhale.  Waiting for the inhale.  The inspiration.  To do. To write. To run. To create.  Whatever.  

I don’t know.

And for once that’s okay.

By the way, you didn’t love the library.  I’d say you tolerated it.  But no squeals of delight like in the bookstore.  Your four molars and your canines are coming in.  That’s been fun.  You are still a delight.  You crack me up constantly.  I love being around you more than anyone in the entire world.  

I will write more later and more consistently.  I promise.

Love,

Mom

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