It was an almost perfect day. We began it in bed with Dada. We gave him a certificate for a gluten free vegan cooking class. He’s been saying he’s wanted to take one forever. Well, now he can. And it’s the kind of gift that keeps on giving…back to you and me, little Pony P.

Then we headed down to Crystal Cove state beach. It is spitting distance from the elementary school I went to. Damn, was I a lucky kid. My school was on a bluff overlooking the majestic Pacific. I breathed in fresh ocean air while running on fields of fresh grass every day. Me in my little dirty white Keds. I want that for you Pony. Although the elementary school up the street from us has excellent ratings and beautiful views from the Mount, it has no grass, and that kind of breaks my heart. Not to mention the fact that the beaches in Los Angeles COUNTY suck ass. I have never found one that rivals Laguna’s beaches. Never. Not once. Ever. And I’ve been to a lot of them.

Today was your first day at the beach. One of many millions, I hope.

Next weekend is your first swim class. I hope someday you can be a Little Mermaid like I was. A precursor to Junior Lifeguards. But I guess that can only happen if we move back to Laguna. A dream we are percolating currently. It used to be Northern California, then it migrated to Portland, or Seattle, but has meandered back to my roots. Why? Because they are damn good roots. Nothing beats growing up by the ocean like that. Nothing. It was dreamy. I kick myself when I think of how much I wanted to leave it then. I protested too much, doth say. Swearing I would never return. And now, I covet. Amazing what having a child will do to you? You have changed everything, my love. Everything. And in the best possible way.

I love your butt. Especially in those ruffles.

Stop being so whiney, please? And eat something substantial, for once. This throwing food thing? Not so cute. I actually have to stop and take deep breaths sometimes. It gets pretty frustrating when you get so excited to eat Kasper’s food that Marie makes for him but when we are alone and I make the SAME EXACT THING you refuse it passionately! Oy vey, child. The drama!

You are beautiful and smart, but I don’t want to tell you that too much. Because I want you to try harder all the time and to never give up. To not be afraid to ask for help. And to rely on much much more than just your looks.

And the way your face lights up when you see your Dad? It’s unbounded joy. You scream with delight the second you see his face. I love it.

You are Daddy’s Girl and I wanted that for you so much.

I don’t think it’s possible to love you any more.

No, it’s not.

Mom