Don’t Change

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Dear Little P,

Where do I start??? I am so madly in love with you. You are the most fascinating, funny, bright, sensitive, and empathetic human I know. You are my favorite person on the planet, by far. I love our pillow talks at night before I sing you to bed. You tell me everything that is going on in your world and the sound of your voice trilling along excitedly is like music to my ears.

Your top front teeth are wiggly. I am anticipating and dreading slightly, those two babies falling out. It will change your speech and your smile so much. And not in a bad way at all, just in a “growing up” way that I am not always ready for. Someone once said it so perfectly, I wish I knew when the “last” was so I could relish it. I don’t remember the last time you asked me to wipe your butt for you, but I do remember thinking, I can’t wait until she doesn’t need me to do that! And now, here we are, months into me not wiping your butt and I miss it! I would have treasured that last time if I had known! I probably rushed through it, oblivious to the sanctity of the moment. Oh, to take back the last poo wipe.

This is what it is.

Being a Mom.

A continual letting go.

By the way, you are an AMAZING reader! I am so proud of you! And you want to quit the violin. You want to try piano.

One last story and I will shut-up for now; you and I were walking home from school and you said that you made a promise to yourself that day that you would help all the kids in class with their reading who didn’t know as much as you.

You are so thoughtful. Wonderful. Warm.

I love you mountains and oceans and universes.




Moving on

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Today your father and I sat in our very first official Kindergarten Parent/Teacher Conference while you played out in the yard. It was wonderfully awkward, sitting in the little chairs, as your teacher, Mrs. Fowler, told us how awesome you were doing. You are definitely doing a victory lap this year and you deserve it after enduring the whole friendship debacle last year in TK. I am so proud of you and who you are. Even though your academics are right on point and your reading is amazing, I care more about your emotional intelligence and Mrs. Fowler says that you are the kindest, most thoughtful, loving student she has. That you are the first to help if someone needs it. That you include other students in your games. That you pay attention. You are earnest. You are awake. You care.

That’s my girl.

We had a dance party tonight to Taylor Swift and I watched you for a while, in your fierceness, glimpsing the passionate being you are, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I don’t ever want this time to end. I appreciate every single second I get with you. Your guilelessness and fury.

I love you.

Keep on moving.

Love Mom.