It’s been way too long. I keep saying this. And I keep wishing it were different.
I have several blogs that I started that I never finished. I am considering publishing them all under the Title- The Toddler Years. I have a mommy friend that blogs every day. But then her daughter is 3 years old and in preschool. And the mom doesn’t work. But still. I only work part time and have a nanny two days a week. Yet those days are spent working. And working takes up a lot of my brain power it seems.
I really wanted to tell you about how I decided to celebrate my 40th birthday. I have to be sure I didn’t start that blog way back when…
I want to tell you how much I love watching you try to use your potty for real now. It is one of the things that brings me so much joy. I don’t know exactly why. But you seem so grown up sitting there, naked but for pink crocs, reading a book upside down. I fall in love with you more and more every day. I didn’t think a love like this could possibly do that. But when I look at you I really do see God. A very funny drunk God tripping on Acid. You kind of remind me of when I was drunk, some days. I was a fun drunk, for awhile, that is, then I was not, at all. But when I was, fun, I was so quirky, impulsive, and strange. If I wanted to do something, dammit, I did it. I didn’t think twice about walking across tables or bars. Throwing phones out of moving cars or windows if you were on them too long. I would jump and scream for no reason. Yes, you and I are very alike in some ways.
I don’t have much time now. I am at work, and should be working. But I am thinking of you, as I always do. Wishing I was holding you right now with your small head tucked between my shoulder and my head. I love when you do that. It makes my decade.
I am starting a new business. I am slightly afraid. I don’t know anything about this world, but I am willing to learn. I hope this is the legacy you remember me for. It truly feels like my life’s work, vocation, calling. Besides being your Mom, Story Tribe is part of what I was put on this planet to do.
Okay, gotta run.
We’ll catch up soon.
yay! Dear Squirt!