Dear Pony,

Your Dad says he read in some book about baby brains that I shouldn’t use your name when I am telling you not to do something. But it’s so hard- what do I say when you keep trying to inhale your bath water? Terms of endearment don’t seem sufficient when you get that crazy look in your eye and you start ogling the water, transfixed, waiting for the perfect moment to dip your face in and breathe IN instead of OUT. Every time you do it, you sit up, coughing and choking, looking at me like I am the crazy one. I have tried just letting you experiment in hopes that you would quickly learn how not fun that is, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. I then thought as a mother maybe it’s my job, like if you were putting your hand towards fire or a light socket, to tell you No. So I have tried that. Sometimes you stop when I say it, and give me a cheeky look with a sly grin. I know then it’s only a matter of time. One minor distraction on my part and it’s back to huffing water. It’s a strange game you like to play. I’m not sure I understand it, but I’ll just keep standing by the sink and calling out anything other than Pony every time you start to dive bomb.

However, at this moment, I’ve never seen anyone so enthralled by a plastic drinking cup and a step stool before. It really is the simple things you love more than anything. Surrounded by colorful rattling toys you always go for the tube of aquafore or the spatula. I love watching you play. I sneak up and spy on you. It’s a little creepy but maybe not totally. Someday I may get a life again. Although I truly don’t mind this one.

I look forward to Mondays and Tuesdays with you every week. Is it selfish of me that I relish my days alone with you, when I can have you all to my self? Sometimes I don’t want to share you with anyone, even Daddy. Even though my fantasy of napping with you seems to stay just that, a fantasy. I see how hard it is to find your sweet spot with you butt in the air when you have my boob in your mouth. Not to mention how uncomfortable it is for me to feel you try.

It’s a chilly day out today and all I can think about is building you a sandbox in the backyard. I’m obsessed at the moment and pretty sure I won’t stop until it’s done. How fun would that be? Your very own sandbox that close!! I saw some pretty cool wooden swing sets online as well, but I don’t think we have the funds or room for that. I’m sure a sandbox will suffice. We’ll be building our castles out of sand.

I love you peanut.

I want to bite your butt right now.

Mom