6 months

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Wow Pony dear,

You never cease to amaze me. Last week was a big one. You had your 6 month check up and you are looking good darling! Coming up on 15 pounds and 25 1/2 inches long! You got all your shots, like the trooper that you are. And then you caught a cold, the day we left for Sedona, AZ to visit Jessie, my oldest bestie in the whole wide world. I met her when I was 4 years old! And this is the most exciting part, she has a baby girl 3 months older than you are named Stella! That’s right, it’s kind of a miracle.

I love Jessie and her family so much. They were like my family growing up, so it was kind of a big deal that they get to meet you and I get to meet Stella.

I must say though, that traveling alone with you is really super hard. I couldn’t just hand you to your Dad so I could pee or anything. You and I were completely attached at the hip. And every night there you were up for 3 hours. It was so intense. I rocked, walked, shushed, sang to, nursed and snuggled you all night long. We slept together in the bed as I cried Uncle the 3rd night. It just made more sense. And apparently my chest was the only place you felt made the most sense too. In a strange way I didn’t mind though, because I felt like I was earning my Mommy badge. Like a rites of passage, soothing you all night like that. I didn’t want you to wake up the other babies and I wanted you to be able to breathe, so I sacrificed any notion of getting sleep and loved you up the best I could. I am so glad I did too because it was really sweet and special and hard as fuck but I know I am a better Mom now because of it.

Goddamn you are adorable.

You were fascinated with Miles, their 4 year old son, who is kind of a genius. He loved you too. It was so sweet how he would bring your toys to you and kiss your head. Stella and you didn’t actually interact too much but I think you inspired her to enjoy tummy time just that tiny bit more. We had naked time with both of you girls every night and you sat up one night while Stella caressed her own naked belly. Happy babies.

Jessie and I cried as she dropped me off. We always do. It’s hard to say good-bye to her.

On the trip home there was a serious delay in Phoenix. We had to switch planes after being boarded. It was mayhem. The new plane was smaller so 12 of us weren’t gonna make it, and you and I were one of the 12. I stood there breastfeeding you in the carrier while I waited in line patiently wondering what the hell we were gonna do when an angel out of nowhere looked at us and taking pity offered his seat to us. I almost cried again. What a softie I’ve become! Never underestimate the kindness of strangers P. There were guardian angels all around that airport for us. People looking out and taking care. So inspiring.

And even though I gave you a tiny but of Benadryl so your eardrum wouldn’t rupture, like the pediatrician recommended before we left, you were awake for the entire trip home. And you’d think you’d be grumpy as all heck but no way, you were charming everyone around us with your gummy goofy grin that I have fallen absolutely in love with.

No one can believe how wonderful you are.

Or the fact that you are about to start crawling any day now. It’s truly an amazing experience to just sit back and watch you figure it all out. Pushing yourself into downward facing dog then rocking until you bring a knee forward, then a hand, then you stop and start to scoot backwards. Your Dad and I held our breath last night as you almost, almost, oh how close you came to an actual crawl. I was as excited as anything I’ve ever been excited about. Namely the new Summer infant video monitor we got for you. Or more likely, for me.

I am a video monitor junky. I’ll admit it.

I was lusting after Jess’s in Sedona. I couldn’t stop starting at it and what was the first thing I did when we got home? Was it work the next day like I was supposed to? NO! I ran out the front door as soon as Angella showed up, proclaiming erroneously that I was working, and went straight to Target where I purchased aforementioned monitor. I felt like I was heading out to score some crack. My knees were shaking as I paid way too much money for it. Then I couldn’t get home fast enough to smoke my rock, I mean set up the monitor. Once it was ready I pushed the power button and suddenly there was your crib, in perfect view on a 3.5 inch screen that I could touch and move around and even talk to you through like Big Brother!! Scary, right?

That night, as you were laying there peacefully slumbering, your father and I held hands and watched you sleep. It was better than television.

Now you are right by my bed while I sleep. All I have to do is look over and I can see you.

It was all I needed.

I’m not such a freak now, I swear.

Okay, well, maybe still a little. But just a little less.

I love you so much it hurts sometimes.



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