Burnt Toast

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My Mom was notorious for burning toast while we were growing up.  So much so that I actually prefer the taste of a little charcoal bread in the morning, reminds me of home.  I always wondered how that was possible- now that I have a baby- I don’t know how she ever DIDN’T burn toast with three small kids.  I can’t do it with one little bird who sleeps most of the day.

One of the greatest gifts of becoming a mother is gaining immense compassion and gratitude for your own.

So Birdie-  you changed it up on us last night!  Scratch everything I wrote in the last blog, because last night you hated your bassinet and you basically wanted to sleep on my chest or in my arms only.  We had to bring out the co-sleeper for the bed and give it another shot.  It worked, for a little while.  I have to admit, I do love being able to smell you and see you throughout the night.  I also love being able to smell and see my husband too. There must be a middle ground.  But you are so little and it’s such a short period of our lives, Papa and I can snuggle till we’re old and decrepit but I believe there will come a time when you will not want to snuggle with us anymore.  If you didn’t, that could get weird.
We went to a sling clinic at the Pump Station on Tuesday to find the perfect carrier for you and I.  We love the Sleepy Wrap.  It’s perfect for us because you aren’t squished up like in a sling, you are upright against my body.  We wore it to the La Leche League meeting yesterday and out to lunch with Leigh and Tor.  Our new Mommy friend and her son,  9-week old, Tor.  You seemed super content in there, just sleeping and cooing all day.  I’m wearing you right now, while I do the dishes, water the lawn, and write this post.  Although I love having you so close, I do worry about whether I am ruining your chances of sleeping in your bassinet for naps again- but Jesus, like Tim said, we don’t want to be a family based on fears, we want to be a family based on what feels right. And right now this feels right.  So we’re gonna go with it. We might regret it later, but once again, you are only so little for so long, and that long is really short.
So that’s my check in for today.  We are on the hunt for our mommy “tribe.”  Haven’t found it yet.  Found some awesome Mom’s with new babies, but not a group we can connect with.  We have three more options left-  RIE, Bini Mom’s (where we took our birthing class), and a holistic mother’s group.  I’ll let you know how it goes.
I am not very clever or witty these days- I fear I’ve lost my personality somewhere between 3 and 7am when it’s you and me and your gas.  But don’t worry- by the time you can talk I should be back.
You are loved so much.  We almost can’t take it.


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