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We took a lovely trip to Sedona this weekend to visit Mom’s Best Friend from childhood, Jessica, and her family.  She has a husband Jules, 3-year-old son Miles, and little baby girl Stella on the way. We had a lovely time.  It was so awesome to sit with them and pick their brain about parenting.  It made me feel so much more relaxed and prepared for you.  At the end of the trip, Jessy said that she knew I was going to be a great Mom and that I could take that in if I wanted to.  I feel like if I am half the Mom she is, I’ll be great.
I can’t believe that Jessy is also having a little girl in one month.  We met when I was four years old.  I can’t wait for you to meet Stella and Miles. My only sadness is that they live so far away.

They told us about a book that has become their bible- The Baby Whisperer.  I ordered it first thing when I got home and we listened to the audiobook driving there and back.  It has schedules and structures that make my heart sing.  I am realizing I will probably parent you like I teach, I throw a ton of spaghetti at the wall creating very structured lesson plans, but then I walk into every classroom ready to throw it all out and improvise if I need to. It’s about reading the field, which means reading you.  I know you will eventually teach me everything I need to know about how to be the best for you if I just listen and observe.

We also met Jessica’s mom, Peaches, for breakfast before we left.  She is such a wonderful loving warm woman.  It meant a lot to me to see her and get a big hug from her.  She loves your name and thinks that Tim and I are like two peas in a pod and totally meant for each other.  She is right.

This is Miles, leading the way on our wonderful walk by the red rock river.  It was an absolutely beautiful day.

This is my happy face looking at your Papa.  He makes me glow from deep inside my heart.  I love him so.

And this is you and me- by the river.  See how big you are getting?  Huge, I tell ya!!

It is so funny to see pictures of myself from different angles.  It made me realize how pregnant I really am and that there is no turning back now.  This shit is for real and you are coming no matter what.  All of which are very good real things.

I’m tired now. It’s been a long day.  I haven’t been too witty in this letter to you, I am too exhausted to try.  I worked with a group of foster kids today that had me sweating bullets keeping boundaries and meaning what I say.  It was a workout, emotionally and physically. Who knew teaching could make you sweat like a spinning class?  I love these kids though- even when they push me away. I get them, for some reason, I understand the push-pull of love-me-hate-me-leave-me-alone-but-please-don’t-abandon-me.  I understand non-attachment pain and rejection.  I get it and I don’t take it personally. But that doesn’t mean I don’t empathize and feel it every moment, because I do.   I think we are going to get some good stories out of this group.  I have a good feeling about them.

All my love,


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