It was an amazing start.  He spent almost an hour with us explaining his theory and practice which all centered around natural childbirth.  I had tears in my eyes, I was so relieved.  Finally, here was a doctor speaking my language.  He used words like; no iv, no fetal monitor, birthing tub, moving around in labor, dim lights, music, and dancing fairies if you so wished.  Dad gave me a knowing look when he said fairies, how did Dr. Dwight know??  He was magic.  I wanted to hug him.  And that was before the ultrasound.  This was pretty amazing Squirt.  I still get choked up just thinking about it. He put the warm gel on my belly and applied the thing that finds you, Dad grabbed my foot while we all stared at the little screen with the strange blobs and blurs in it.  He found you right away.  We saw your head. It was really cute. And then he found another angle, you were hanging out with your legs apart.  I could easily make out your femur bones on either side.  And that was when Dr. Dwight narrowed in and explained that we were looking to see what the gender was between your legs.  We had already told him we wanted to know your sex if we could.  He asked us then if we had a preference.  Dad said no I said well…a girl.  But I’ll be happy with whatever is healthy.  And that’s when he said the most beautiful words I have ever heard strung together besides when your Papa said “Will you marry me?”,  Dr. Dwight said, “Looks like you guys have a daughter.”  I wanted to start crying but was too embarrassed to do it in front of everyone. So I held it in.  Cuz I’m tough like that.  Then it was over and we were ready to go.  I think Dad and I were in shock, the best shock ever.  I wanted to start sobbing in his arms out of happiness right away but I kept it together.  We made it out of the hospital walking on air.  In a slight daze as we ate lunch together before going our separate ways back to work.  We kept saying, “Oh my god.” And “I love him”  “I wish I could hug him” and “I wish I had a small Dr. Dwight to keep in my pocket all day.”

On my way home from work I really lost it because I realized something so profound- I was going to be able to give you the greatest gift I could ever give my daughter; Dad as your father.  You are going to grow up with a father that adores you, will never hurt you or abandon you.  That is huge. That is bigger than huge, that is…I don’t even know how to explain it.  I can give you something I never had.  Nothing else matters.  I can rest assured for the rest of my life that I finally have done something right.  I fell in love with the right person.  For once.  I found my soulmate and we are going to have a baby together and that love child is you.  Your Dad just told me that today was the happiest day of his life, second to the day he met me.  See?  Lottery.

Sweet dreams little one.

Mom