We met Dr. Dwight today, your Obgyn. He’s the man that will be catching you when you enter into this world and I can’t think of a better person for the job. The difference in demeanor and warmth between him and the other (who shall remain nameless from now on) is like night and day. From the second we walked into the welcoming waiting room until we were ushered into the more sterile yet still warm somehow doctor room where we were to be examined, we both couldn’t believe how much better we felt. We just knew we were in more compassionate environment. It leaked through the walls. And we hadn’t even met the famous Dr. Dwight yet. Tim and I made each other laugh while I sat there naked under a hospital gown anxious and curious. Then it happened. A light knock on the door and then sunshine entered the room in the form of a tall and thin grey haired angel in scrubs. He gave us this gigantic smile, shook my hand while introducing himself, and while shaking Tim’s hand, said, “Do you two know each other?” I laughed and replied, “Only intimately.”
It was an amazing start. He spent almost an hour with us explaining his theory and practice which all centered around natural child birth. I had tears in my eyes, I was so relieved. Finally here was a doctor speaking my language. He used words like; no iv, no fetal monitor, birthing tub, moving around in labor, dim lights, music, and dancing fairies if you so wished. Tim gave me a knowing look when he said fairies, how did Dr. Dwight know?? He was magic. I wanted to hug him. And that was before the ultrasound. This was pretty amazing Squirt. I still get choked up just thinking about it. He put the warm gel on my belly and applied the thing that finds you, Tim grabbed my foot while we all stared at the little screen with the strange blobs and blurs in it. He found you right away. We saw your head. It was really cute. And then he found another angle, you were hanging out with your legs apart. I could easily make out your femur bones on either side. And that was when Dr. Dwight narrowed in and explained that we were looking to see what the gender was between your legs. We had already told him we wanted to know, if he could tell. He asked us then if we had a preference. Tim said no I said well…a girl. But I’ll be happy with whatever is healthy. And that’s when he said the most beautiful words I have ever heard strung together besides when your Papa said “Will you marry me?”, Dr. Dwight said “Looks like you guys have a daughter.” There were no franks and beans. None. I could even tell. 80% sure he said. I wanted to start crying but was too embarrassed to do it in front of everyone. So I held it in. Cuz I’m tough like that. Then it was over and we were ready to go. I think Tim and I were in shock, the best shock ever. I wanted to start sobbing in his arms out of happiness right away but I kept it together. We made it out of the hospital walking on air. In a slight daze as we ate lunch together before going our separate ways back to work. We kept saying, “Oh my god.” And “I love him” “I wish I could hug him” and “I wish I had a small Dr. Dwight to keep in my pocket all day.”
On my way home from work I really lost it because I realized something so profound- I was going to be able to give you the greatest gift I could ever give my daughter; Tim as your father. You are going to grow up with a father that adores you, will never hurt you or abandon you. That is huge. That is bigger then huge, that is…I don’t even know how to explain it. I can give you something I never had. Nothing else matters. I can rest assured for the rest of my life that I finally have done something right. I fell in love with the right person. For once. I found my soulmate and we are going to have a baby together and that love child is you. Your Dad just told me that today was the happiest day of his life, second to the day he met me. See? Lottery.
Sweet dreams little one.