Driving home from a terrible movie that we walked out of – “Due Date” with Robert Downey Jr. (Don’t ever rent it) – your brilliant father had another one of his brilliant ideas. He turned to me in the halo of the oncoming traffic lights and said, “Hey Honey, why don’t we write a blog to Little Squirt? It could be an ongoing letter to her” I replied, “Genius. Let’s do it.” So here we are, at home, it’s a balmy 64 degrees outside, I can’t seem to get warm no matter where I am, your father just downed another bag of Nutthins and Hummus and I’ve had three dark chocolate covered caramels while we figure out this whole blog stuff.
So let’s get started:
Here is what we know about you at this moment from the various books we’ve read. You are the size of a sesame seed and look more like a tadpole with a tiny beating heart. You have made my boobs grow into insane proportions and feel like alien boobs to me, but have made Dad really happy. He appreciates you doing that. I’m starting to find certain foods revolting, like the lovely little turkey and nut-butter brown rice tortilla wraps I once loved. The thought of them makes me want to barf.
We can’t tell you enough how excited we are to meet you one day not so far away. We wanted you more than anything and worked extremely hard to make sure that you could come into the world and be with us.
We were going to name you October but decided it had too many syllables and no good nicknames. No way in hell we were going to allow you to be called Toby. We love you too much for that.
So, for now, you are Squirt. But don’t worry, we’ll find your real name. You just need to direct us towards it.
Your Dad wants to make sure that you know Squirt is not from Finding Nemo but from his childhood nickname given to him by his father. So it’s all in the family.
Before we retire for the evening in our little tree house on the hill in Echo Park we want you to know something very important, that we love you and always will.
Mom and Dad